xiaolin showdown
by familyblaze
Summary: This is a kind of xiaolin showdown family guy crossover. It doesnt have kimiko raimundo clay or omi but it does have six other monks. Its in first person view of the fire warrior.


Xiaolin showdown

I was walking through the temple. Master fung had told me to get the other monks. You see we may have looked like other kids but there's one thing that separated us from the crowd. We had elemental powers. I knocked on my sister Cassies door. She was able to control and create lightning. "Cass master fung wants to meet us at the vault" I said. "Ill be right there" she said as if she wasn't paying attention. I walked out of the room. Me and Cassie were orphaned when I was one and she was seven by my powers going haywire creating an evil copy of myself out of my powers. We had spent two years trying to find someone in the family that he couldn't kill but it didn't work. When I discovered my powers I thought Cass was killed by heat. I even thought he had killed Cassie at one point. I walked down the hall and knocked on Destinys door. She has power over earth. "Destiny master fung wants us at the vault" I said. I couldn't tell if she heard me until she said "all right". I went over to Ericas door and knocked on it. Erica had power over plants. "Erica master fung wants" I said. She said "all right Jake Ill meet you there". I walked to the boy's part. I knocked on alexs door. His immense water powers were great if you were in a bind. "Alex fung wants us at the vault I said. "Be there in a minute" he said. I knocked on Jaden's door. He was filthy rich and had amazing wind powers. "Jaden come on master fung wants us" I said. "all right Ill be right there". I went to my own room and opened the door. I shared my room with brian for two reasons one as shoku warrior I had the biggest room and two we were best friends. Brian was asleep at the foot of my bed. "Brian we gotta meet master fung" I said as he woke up. "all right let me get my collar and robes" he said getting up and going over to the dresser. "here" I said tossing him his pants and shirt. "we got any beer" he said putting on his collar. If you saw a talking dog who drank martinis and walked on his back legs you'd freak out but not us. I took the shirt of my shoku robes and put it on over my tee. I tied my sash and me and Brian went down. If you're wondering Brian has a very strong sense of smell and is considered a monk and can even shoot energy beams. One of our enemy jack spicers robots appeared. I saw it and blasted if with a steam of fire. I can shoot fire and lava. A shoku warrior is a team leader of a group of wudai warriors. Jaden Cass and Brian are also shoku. Jaden is second Cass third and Brian forth. A wudai warrior wears a red shirt with black lining and a light blue sash and a shoku warrior wearing a black shirt with red lining and a gold sash. We sat around the cauldron. "Welcome team its time for a little extra training today" Master fung said. All of us groaned. Brian was still drunk but he assured me he was all right. We walked outside to the training course. I kept Brian walking with us and from walking into a wall. "First is agility training" Master Fung. "may I be excused" Brian said. "No now back to business" master fung said. Brian couldn't hold it in any longer. He accidentally peed through his jeans and all over the ground and on everybody's shoes. "Good thing I wore urine proof shoes" I said. "That's it Brian if you step out of line once more your neutered" master fung. Me and Brian stared at master fung. I knew Brian had wanted kids. "It will be all right sir" I said. Three hours later training had let out and Brian had got out of his wet robes and collar. "You got to learn to control your bladder" I said to Brian drying himself off. "I know nine showers and I still smell like urine" Brian said. "Try taking twelve come on we got target practice" I said. Brian just slipped on his collar. We walked outside to the training area. The others were prepping. "Brian your first" master fung said as targets surrounded Brian. "Wudai energy" Brian said as he hit the targets with beams of energy. When the targets were destroyed and master fung said "Jake you're up". I walked over and said "wudai fireball". I shot off some fireballs. Two hours later me and Brian were sitting in our room after training. "I cant believe Alex missed with every bullet" I said laughing. "I know and Jaden's pants got blasted off. Pass the beer" said Brian. I put on the serpents vest which heals your inner body. I grabbed a beer for each of us and handed Brian one. We chugged down cases of it and left for town. We came back around midnight drunk as hell and snuck in our room and changed out of our street clothes and put on some pajamas. In the morning I was woke up by a knock on our door. I opened the door and saw master fung on the other side. Brian woke up and walked over. "Brian Jake you knew what would happen if you got in trouble" Master fung said. "what did we do" Brian said confused. Master Fung held up a picture of us sneaking into the temple. "Remind me again I was high then what was the punishment" Brian said. "You getting neutered" I said. Brian nearly passed out from shock and hangover. "Ericas waiting for you" fung said as he left. "We gotta get out of here Jake" Brian said. "It's been time Ill get some of Jaden's cash" I said with a grin on my face. We were packed in ten minutes. We were at the airport immediately. "Brian don't head to the bar one shot will make you pass out" I said." where the hell are we going. A thirteen year old and a talking dog are gonna be noticed real quick" Brian said very angrily. "wheres your family right now" I asked Brian giving him a cigarette before the plane ride. "There in Newport Rhode island with lois parents" Brian said he tried to get his lighter to work. "wudai burn" I said lighting it for him "why don't we just stay with them for a while". "Cant Lois's father is mad at me for having sex with there greyhound" Brian said taking in a big dose of smoke. "how about Orlando or even quahog" I said putting on the serpents vest and lighting one up myself. "We are now boarding for Orlando" a voice said over the intercom. Me and Brian put out our cigarettes and boarded. "since when do you smoke" Brian said when he was sure no one was listening. "Being leader is stressful all right" I said as we boarded. We sat down in our seats and I asked for two martinis and we got drunk. Brian tried to get up but fell over as soon as he stood up. "David a little help here" Brian said. I helped him stand up and walk to the bathroom. "Ah shit I cant use a toilet" Brian said. "No problem Ill help you out just pretend your outside" I said opening the door for him. The main problem was just that he couldn't keep his balance long enough for him to sit down. We went back and watched the rest of Pokémon movies. We landed and got our stuff and stayed at nick resorts. I called Newport and got no one. "What do we do until this is over" Brian said. "Disneyworld" I said lighting up a cigarette. "You know they don't allow cigarettes there" he said chugging down a beer. "you know they don't allow alcohol there either" I said crushing the cigarette and offering one to him. We spent most of the night drinking. We went back a few days later to the temple. "Ah shit there back. I was gonna be leader" Jaden said. "Brian I am very sorry for the other day I just got very mad said master fung. "I am sorry too. Ill take the punishment" Brian said. "are you serious I know you want to have kids" I said. "It is unnecessary you will be able to have kids" master fung said. Me and Brian let out a sigh of relief. Brian and I were back in our room. Brian had got a letter that disturbed me. He read aloud "Dear Brian I got a divorce from my boyfriend and I'm coming to stay with you guys until me and him get things settled. Your cousin jasper. "oh god" I said. "jasper is just a gay dog. Whats wrong with that" Brian said. "fine he can stay in my room but hopefully he wont get in bed with me while I'm asleep" I said. The next day me and Brian were waiting for jasper. He came in and Brian greeted him. "well Ill show you to my and Brian's room" I said. "oh and you said you weren't gay" jasper said to Brian. "its like me sleeping at the foot of Lois and Peters bed back in Quahog" Brian said. "yet you fell in love with Lois" I said. "get out of here" Brian growled. "fine oh and stewie told Lois about the trick you did to her after she forced you to wear diapers" I said trying to get on brains nerves. "Damn toddler" Brian said. "what is he talking about" jasper said. "Nothing" Brian said. It got late and jasper and Brian fell asleep. Already I was getting mad because he thought it was all a game. I heard dojo knock on the door. "a new shen gong wu revealed itself. The stone jacket gives the user the ability to turn himself to stone at will" dojo said. "what good is that" I said. "The user is virtually invulnerable" Dojo said. I went and woke up Brian Jasper and the others. We grabbed some shen gong wu got dressed and headed towards the jacket. "Orlando we were here when we left the temple because of brains punishment" I said. "You were just here and Brian pick up the scent" Desitny said confused. "There was beer involved" Brian said. "You were in Disneyworld weren't you" Alex said. "Yeah pretty much" I said. We landed by the water. "Sapphire shark" I said as a large metallic shark appeared. We got in and went underwater. "first time I have been in here" I said walking around. "you have but you were fused with some other wu". We approached the jacket and I grabbed the gills of hamochi. "So who's going out there with me" I said looking at the others. Brian Alex and Jaden all volunteered. "Grab on gills of hamochi" I said. We jumped out the airlock and grabbed the jacket. We got back and jasper was messing with the navigation system. We nearly crashed. A portal opened in the sub it looked I was walking out of the portal. "its been a long time since I kicked your but heat. You want a refresher" I said. "Jake I'm just here to finish what I started" Heat said. "Wudai wave" Alex said as a wave projected from his hands. "Wudai twister" Jaden said creating a tornado. "Wudai stone" Destiny said shooting stones at heat. The moves had mixed together and knocked heat back in the portal. "That was weird" jasper said. "Yeah and a talking homosexual dog isn't" I said. With in a few days jasper had left. "Good he tried to have sex with me several times". "So David who is this heat person" Brian said. "He killed my entire family" I said pulling out a beer. "But Cassie's your 19 year old sister" Brian said. "I thought she was destroyed when she was blasted right in front of me. But it was a shadow spliced hologram" I said. "How did you get him off your tail" Brian said chugging down a beer. "Well my emotions started triggering my powers" I said lighting one up. "How the hell did that help if he was stronger than you" Brian said lighting a cigarette on my still lit hand. "I accidentally shot myself through the air. He chased me down and after it stopped I created a smokescreen and I guess she attacked heat cause he left seconds after the smokescreen went up" I said disintegrated our finished cigarettes. "Now you tell me you can fly. Whats next super speed" Brian said starting to get drunk. "Yes I do and if were gonna get drunk lets head to a bar Ill drive" I said getting in to brains car. We went a bar and got drunk. We drove back in to the garage and teleported in with the golden tiger claws. "David why didn't we just teleport there" Brian said about to puke. "I didn't want to" I said. We got in and saw Alex running in to the same wall repeatedly. "what the hell is going on" Brian said. "I don't know I'm still drunk. How the hell did we get home" I said. We walked over to Alex and saw he was blindfolded. I took off his blindfold. "Thanks are you two drunk" Alex said. "No we just have a speech impediment" Brian said. I threw up on Alex. "And a stomach virus" I said. We both fell over. "And an inner ear infection" Brian said. "Right there's a one year old in your room wanting to see you Brian" Alex said propping us up. We went to my room and saw stewie. "So what's this called road to china" he said as got up and pulled out a boom box. I press a button on the wall and the floor he was standing on slid out from under him revealing a hot tub. He instantly fell in and couldn't get out. I put on some metal claw gloves. "Grapple claw gloves" I said as the claws extended like a grappling hook and scooped up stewie. I deactivated the gloves and Brian the trapdoor. "Just watch this kid" I said. We put the boom box down and put on a song similar to true friend. "My new best friend" We sang together. "You're a pyrokinetic teen" Brian sang. "Well you're a dog who mocks Charlie sheen" I sang. "But no matter what happens your my new best friend" We sang. "An orphan who can move at super speed" Brian said. "A dog who is addicted to weed" David said. "But whatever you've said you're my new best friend" We sang. "You're a kid who can project bursts of flame" Brian sang. "You're your urges bring you to shame" I sang. "But no matter what has come you're my new best friend. My new best friend" We sang. The music stopped and stewie fainted. He woke up put some ice on his head. "Wow that was good oh that reminds me I'm gonna have to stay with you for a while" stewie said. We dropped the water bottles that we had grabbed after the song. "Where am I gonna sleep" stewie said. "We barley had enough room in this room when Brains gay cousin stayed with us. How are we gonna have room for another bed" I said. "Just screwing with ya Ill be leaving in a few minutes" he said. "How about now" I said as I blasted him all the way to quahog. Later master fung wanted us to come to the main building. "Lets hope its not extra training I'm drunk as hell" Brian said. "Good thing you're wearing those diapers under your jeans" I said. "Yeah only when I'm drunk or were gonna train. Don't tell anyone" he said. "I won't" I said. We sat down. "You all even Jaden are going to have to take part time jobs" Master fung said. "What this is absurd" Brian said. "Your drunk aren't you" Jaden said. "Jake Brian you are on the police force in quahog Jaden bartender Erica s-m club Alex custodian Cassie cashier and Destiny waitress" Master Fung said. "Let me guess were on drug detail" I said. "Do you know what happen on my first case last time? I got addicted to cocaine" Brian said. "Cigar or cigarette" I asked him. "Cocaine is powder" Brian said. "I know that I was asking you which you wanted" I said angrily. "Oh cigarette" he said. I handed him one and he lit it. He was about to it in his mouth but crushed it instead. I disintegrated my own. "We gotta stop smoking and drinking for the part time job" Brian said. We got on a plane to quohog. Bender was holding a sign that said monks who should bite my shiny metal ass. "Bender shouldn't you be in 3007" Brian said. "I got sent back for the police force temporarily" bender said. "So did me and Brian" I said. We were driven into quahog and we dropped off Jaden at the drunken clam. The girls and Alex were dropped off at the mall across the street and me and Brian were dropped of there with bender. "Brian you get arrested" Joe said. "No we have to take part time jobs" I said. "In the drug department" I said. "Yeah like I'm falling for that your just trying to some drugs" Joe said. "Brian doesn't do cocaine" I said. "Anymore" Joe said. "So my first case had me sniff cocaine big deal" Brian said. We went to the airport and Brian picked something up. "What's wrong Brian" said Joe. "I got something" Brian said. "What meth cocaine weed" Joe said. "No its nothing" Brian said. "Shen gong wu" I whispered in his ear. "Yes with cocaine" Brian said. "Over there let me and David get him" Brian said. We rounded a corner and when we were out of sight took our police uniforms and had our street clothes underneath. We grabbed a strange looking blade and hid it. "Joes coming grab your uniform" Brian said smelling him coming. We got the guy and cleaned up the cocaine. "Let me just make sure" Brian said inching closer to it. "We have time smell" I said handing him some. He smelled it and replaced it in the bag. I rebuttoned my shirt and dragged it over to Joe. "Pure coke" I said handing it to him. "I checked it myself" Brian said handing it to him. We got to go back to the griffins early. "So Jake Brian how was work" Lois said at dinner. "Great now I know why I picked Brian as team tracer and forth in command" I said. "Forth in command of what" peter said. "How many times do I have to say it? My team has to find the shen gong wu and fight for them in contests called xiaolin showdowns" I said. "Shen gong what" peter said. "xiaolin what's" Chris said. "Forget it" I said. "Did I tell you about when Brian was drunk and we had to do some extra agility training" I said. "Don't tell that please it's embarrassing" Brian said. "Come on Brian it can't be that bad" Meg said. "Well Master fung was telling us what we had to do and brian had to pee real bad" I said. "Please" Brian said. "So he asked master fung if he could excused but master fung wouldn't let him. So he accidentally wet himself right through his pants and all over the ground" I said. Everybody started laughing at the story. "I asked you not to tell that story" Brian said. "Well I better go pick the others up" I said. "Ill help I'm heading to the clam anyway" Peter said. "Good Jaden works at the clam and the others the others are at the mall across the street" I said. There was a knock at the door. The others were at the door. "Uh where is Jaden sleeping he got to much free beer" Cassie said. "Here Ill take him up to my room" Chris said. "By the way there isn't enough room with Chris" Lois said. "Its all right Ill sleep down here" I said laying down on the couch. "I'm gonna stay down here tonight were used to each other by now" Brian said getting on my legs. When everyone else was asleep I pulled out the scroll of the shen gong wu. "What does it say about that sword" Brian said. "Here it is the moisture blade allows control over water" I said. "How are we gonna get it back to china" Brian said. "Simple dojo mail it's already on its way" I said. I turned on the TV and watched family guy till I fell asleep. The next day Brian had checked us in to a hotel and me and him stayed there and went swimming. We then checked Erica at the s-m dungeon. "Erica can you give me and Brian a discount" I asked Erica. "Yeah strip down to your boxers and Brian in your case just take off your collar shoes jeans and shirt" kacey said. "Aw crap my zippers stuck" Brian said struggling with it. "Here Ill help" I said getting his zipper. "Thanks what is a dominatrix" he asked undoing his collar. "a person who will hurt you for money" I said. "What good is that" Brian said taking off his shirt. "It feels good" I said taking off my jeans. "How does getting punched feel good" he said. "You don't get punched" I said taking his collar and clothes and putting them with mine. An hour later we were getting ready to leave. "Jake those whip marks look bad you all right" brian said putting back on his jeans. "Yeah I'm fine those markings on your crotch look bad though" I said putting on my shirt. "Why were you looking" Brian said tieing his shoes. "Its hard not to when I don't know your legs are spread and I'm trying to keep Erica from whipping my face" I said putting on my jeans. Brian put on his collar and we headed out. "Erica how much do I owe you" I said. "For you guys its ten bucks" Erica said. I handed her the money. We left the dungeon and headed back to the hotel. "there's not enough time before the others get back so. Just close your eyes" I said. "Ive seen it before besides I wouldn't look any way" brian said grabbing some towels. "deal" I said. Jaden got home ten minutes later. Me and brian came out after ryan came in. me and brian came out later. "were you in the shower together" Jaden said. "we just got back from visiting Erica at her job. We got a discount and we had some bad whip marks semen stains and it looked like Brian had been hit with a golf club instead of being stepped on by the way you still can have kids. I checked with the scanner sunglasses" I said. "How long have you been home" Jaden said. "Ten minutes" Brian said. The next day we went back to work. "We had a good day yesterday" I said. "Let me guess you got drunk the entire day" Joe said. "No we went to visit Erica at work" Brian said. "What is she a striper" Joe said. "No a dominatrix" I said. We started driving around and we caught some more cocaine and even weed cases. We got another day off and just stayed in the room. "Shouldn't we be working" Brian said. "We got the day off" I said. We went and saw Erica for another discount. "Gets better every time" Brian said coming out of the bathroom. "Almost left your clothes at the dungeon" I said tossing them back. "Thanks" he said. "Didn't you notice you didn't have your collar around your neck" I said. "I forgot" Brian said. Soon we were getting ready to back to the temple. "You want one more discount" Erica said. "Of course" I said. "Ill drive" Brian said. We packed went to sleep and got ready to go back to china. "A forty hour flight. Since when does it take this long" Brian said picking up a beer. "This plane is mostly for luxury" Jaden said. I opened the door and saw Brian reading canine porn. "Again" I said. "Yes again" Brian said putting it in his backpack. "This is the third time in an hour I've caught you menstruating" I said. We landed and got on another plane. "Lets see here ah right next to pewterschmight" I said trying to find me and brains seats. "Lets hope seabreeze isn't here" Brian whispered. In the morning brains seat was covered with beer bottle and what looked like urine. He woke up and noticed the stuff in his seat. "What happened last night" Brian said clearing off beer bottles. "I don't know" I said. I felt around backpacks. I couldn't find them. "I gotta go take off this stuff wheres my backpack" Brian said. "I don't know they were here when we fell asleep" I said. "Ill go take this stuff off" Brian said standing up. "if you just peed why is it down the back of your shirt and on your collar" I said. "I don't know without the scanner sunglasses we cant analyze it" Brian said. "But Alex can go just take that stuff off. Ill get Alex" I said. Brian walked back. "so could Alex find anything" he said sitting down. "No there's nothing here" I said. "It's freezing in here" he said. "Would you rather be freezing or covered in urine" I said. "Good point" he said. Pewterschmight came up to us. "That mutt violated seabreeze" he said angrily. "Do you have any proof I did that" Brian said. "You usually wear jeans and a shirt and you're your not even wearing a collar" pewterschmight said. "hey he woke and they were covered in what I think is urine and our backpacks were stolen" I said angrily. "Yeah I don't care" he shouted back. "Jake I have the analysis on that stain on brains shirt. I have figured out that it is urine but not brains" Alex said. "What does that prove" pewterschmight said. "It proves that brains been framed. Also Brian its gonna be a while before I can get your clothes back" Alex said. "No prob" Brian said. "I am sorry Brian framed you" pewterschmight said as a plane flew up next to us and he jumped out on to the other. "my backpack and everything is in here. But brains gear is all covered in the fake urine" I said digging through our backpacks. We got off and went back to the temple. Brian and I were drinking some beer. "I cant believe you nearly blasted him out of the plane yourself" I said. "well good thing I wasn't drunk" Brian said. "let me put up our backpacks" I said dropping our packs. In the closet were halo armor designed for us. "What's wrong Jake" Brian said getting up. "Come over here" I said. "whoa its our exact size" Brian said grabbing the black glove from his suit. We put on the suits and armor plating. "How did master fung know we love halo 3" I said. "I don't know but this armor looks great" Brian said. Master Fung had sent us back to quahog. "I missed this place" Jaden said. "We were only at the griffins for one day" I said. "yeah but I got to see some action" Jaden said. "Weirdo" Destiny said. "Hey guys were back" I said. "where's the beer" Brian said. "Yeah I need some" I said. "But your thirteen" Lois said. "And I'm fine" I said. "so anything funny happen" peter said. "yeah I want to hear" Chris said. "Me too" Meg said. "nothing funny just weird" I said. "no not that story" Brian said. "well we were sitting next to pewterschight on the plane" I said. "please" Brian said. "when I woke up the seat was covered in beer bottles and what looked like urine. I tried get our backpacks but they were gone. When he stood up I noticed that the urine was down his back and on his collar. Then pewterschmight accused of violating seabreeze" I said. "It turned out pewterschmight had framed me so I would be neutered" Brian said. Everyone started laughing. Everyone went to sleep early. "Welcome back to the force you two" Joe said. "Good to be back" I said. "I got something" Brian said as he took off running. I chased after him. I blasted the guy in the back of the head and he dropped a suitcase. "Cocaine" Brian said putting it back in the suitcase. Joe got there and gave us raise for hard work. We went back to the hotel and Jaden and Alex were already there. "What's wrong you two usually get home for another hour" I said. "We were fired" Alex said. "Fired what happened" Brian said. "I accidentally froze a man in carbonite" Alex said. "I got drunk" Jaden said. Destiny came in. "I got fired because they think I stole from the register" she said. "Just kidding" they said in unison. Soon we were back at the temple. Master Fung told us to meet in the main building. "Due to a lack of teamwork I shall use the hypnodisc to put you in a linked memory state" Master Fung said. The seven of us were instantly knocked out. We woke up one the floor of a hospital hallway. We turned around and looked through the door behind us. "Here is your little girl Mrs. Bowlin" a doctor said. He handed her the baby. "I think Ill name you Cassie Lee Bowlin" the woman said. We all were shocked. "But that's my name" Cassie said. Brian grabbed a newspaper. "Look this newspaper says the dates July 28 1988" Brian said. "Wait didn't Master Fung say we were in a linked memory state" I said. "That explains it. Were seeing memories of each others past" Jaden said. We warped farther. We looked in the door behind us. Another woman was there instead of my mom. She was holding a different child. "Ill name you Jaden Daniel Beach" she said. "November 8 1993" Brian said. A few seconds later it felt like only a minute passed. "Make that November 17" Brian said. We all turned around and a different woman. "I think Ill name you Richard Alexander Bryant" she said. "I never knew we were born within days of each other" Alex said. "But she said that boys name is Richard" Ryan said. "So is mine" he said. We warped to another time. "Erica Lynn Moore" a woman said. Another warp. "Elizabeth Destiny Burton" a woman said. We warped again. It was my mom in the bed. "Jake Michael Bowlin Jr" she said. We were warped to a large mansion. A young version of Jaden was sitting in a room filled with toys. But he looked sad. Then we warped and I saw the battle between me and heat. "The only one we haven't seen is Brian's" I said. "Yeah it's almost as bad as your story" Brian said. We warped to a barn in Austin Texas. I walked over and saw several cages. Each one with a mother and puppies inside. I saw a cage with five puppies in it. Three were eating one was running around and the other was standing on its back legs holding a small bottle of aspirin. I recognized that it was Brian. Brian had his head in his hands crying. "You were born at a puppy mill" I said petting his head. I saw a man walk in. he went over to Brian's cage and took him out. "Mom please help" he said being carried off. But no one did. "Oh you were separated from your mother when you were young. I feel your pain" I said as a tear ran down my face. We warped to the side of the road. Brian was sitting in a pile of trash. Peter pulled up and when he didn't have any money he offered to bring Brian home. We woke up. Me and Brian went back to our room. "I never knew Brian" I said. "You think I like to talk about my mom abandoning me. Well I don't. She died a year before I returned. The owners didn't even give her a proper burial they just stuffed her and turned her in to a table" he said crying. "Brian its ok" I said scratching his ears trying to calm him down. "I can't believe she died a year ago" Brian said. We went down to the vault. We saw master fung on the ground covered in blood. I looked beside his body and saw a rose with blood on it. "I know who killed master fung and it looks like she got away" I said. "Erica why would she do it" Brian said. We went and waited in nearby Wal-Mart for an old friend of mine. We walked past the toy aisle and I looked at Brian. "No were not buying toys" Brian said. "right here in the pets department" I said. "Jake" I a girl beside me said. "Jessie" I said. "you remember your other partner Dylan" Jessie said pointing to him. "lets get back to the temple and let me introduce you to my current partner Brian" I said. "Pleasure" Brian said. "Who's a good boy" Dylan said. "I'm a good boy" Brian said. "Who's a good boy" Dylan said. "I am" Brian said. "Who wants a treat" Dylan said. "You better give me that damn treat" Brian said. "Let it go" I said. We went back to the temple and the griffins were sitting in the main building. "Hey peter how's the brewery job going" I said. "pretty good" Peter said. "What's with the clipboards" Brian said. "oh that were just gonna see what its like here" Lois said. "Wasn't there another girl here" Meg said. "Kacey we believe may have killed master fung. So Dylan and Jessie are gonna help us out for a while" I said. I lead them to my room. "stewie go play with your toys" Lois said. An hour later the team was getting to know each other over soda. "So what is your element" I said. "Well Dylan can control sound and my powers are music based" Jessie said. Lois and peter came in the room. "well everything checks out but you guys are gonna have to stay with us for a while" Lois said. We went and packed our stuff. "we just settled back in" I said. "Well it was going to happen sooner or later" Brian said. The next day there was pee on the carpet by the couch. Lois saw it immediately. "Brian did you pee on the carpet" Lois said. "I didn't do it" Brian said not even looking up from his magazine. So peter tried to get stewie to learn how to use a toilet. That night while I was asleep Brian was on his hands and knees scrubbing another accident. "damn why is this happening. It wont come out" Brian said. "Brian you're up this late" I said my eyes still shut tight. "Yeah I couldn't sleep Ill be right over there" Brian said. "all right" I said going back to sleep. Brian couldn't get it out so he placed stewies teddy bear in the puddle. He crawled back on my legs. That afternoon I was sitting on the couch. Meg stepped in the urine. "stewie peed on the carpet again" Meg said. "It looks like someone tried to clean it up" Lois said. "No it doesn't" Brian said. We had went to Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff. "all right we will split up the list. Peter and I will get the ice cream, Dylan Jessie you get the soda, Cassie you get the beer, Meg Chris you go to the electronics department, Jaden Destiny Alex why don't you go to the movie department, Brian Jake take stewie to the toy department and the pet department" Lois said giving us each a list. Me and Brian took stewie over to the toys department. We were driving to a nearby toys r us. "lets see here the power rangers megazaords I'm missing and some bionicles" I said. "thanks for carrying your own toys" Lois said. "No problem. You hear something" I said. I turned around and Brian had peed on the floor. Lois took her sweater and tied it around Brian's waist. "Jake take Brian out to his car and drive him to the hospital and ask to see Dr. Kaplan" Lois said. "Its one accident in toys r us big deal" I said. I drove him over and went in with him. "Kid these sessions are private" Dr Kaplan said. "I don't care" I said going in to the office. Brian layed down on the couch and I leaned against the wall by the foot of the couch. "anything going on since I saw you last" Dr Kaplan said to Brian. "nothing much just adjusting to have to save the world" Brian said. "save the world" Kaplan said. "yeah he helps my team to find the shen gong wu" I said. "shen gong wu. what's a shen gong wu" Kaplan said. "An artifact that gives you a special power" I said. "One of master fungs teamwork sessions had us go into each others memories" Brian said. "one of his worst memories. We saw him get taken away from his mom. When we woke up he had tears down his face" I said. "yeah but I'm used to supernatural powers and talking dragons" Brian said. Soon we were back at the house. "so what's wrong with you Brian" Lois said. "Dr Kaplan says it could be anything" Brian said. "He's ruled out the love with Lois stress and a bad influence" I said. "Lois did you get those toys from earlier" I asked. "its by your backpack" Lois said. "thank you" I said. me and Brian sat in the front room. I started working on a bionicle and Brian started reading a novel he bought. The next day I took brian back to Dr. Kaplan. He believed though I disagreed that it was a midlife crisis. Brian came back a few days later. Me and Brian were drinking some coffee. "Lois come quick puddles has peed all over the living room" Stewie said. When Brian was getting some beer I went up to Stewies room and saw that he was peeing all over his room to make it look like Brian. "You know I suspected something when there was fresh urine in the living room and me and Brian hadn't been in there for an hour" I said. He pulled out an M3 sub machinegun from under his pillow. I blasted it immediately. Lois saw Stewie pull out a pistol which he was smacked for. I went downstairs and Brian was drunk as hell on the couch. He had an early appointment with Dr. Kaplan in the morning so I just went to sleep. We woke got dressed and headed over. "So Brian any idea what could be wrong" Dr. Kaplan said. "No I have no idea" Brian said. "this happened after this girl Jessie came" Kaplan said. "yeah pretty much" Brian said. "I believe you may be in love with Jessie" Dr. Kaplan said. "Brian I cant blame you she is hot" I said. Soon everything was back to normal except we were still living with the griffins. One day dojo had came down. "A new shen gong wu revealed itself. The collar of wails gives the user great sonic powers" dojo said. We scoured the town but we couldn't find it anywhere. Me and Brian were at the drunken clam and we saw a sign for a dog show. "Brian look at the prize for this dog show. Five hundred dollars and look the collar of wails" I said. "no I am not going in a dog show" Brian said. "it's the only way" I said. "no I'm not perpetuating the stereotype of a good dog" Brian said. We went home and were still arguing about the dog show. "fine Ill do it" Brian said. We went to the community center to sign up Brian. I got to the sign up sheet. "Brian look at this. Heat signed up" I said. "his dog is jasper" Brian said. "I knew gays were evil" I said. I signed our names. "thank you now tomorrow is a big black tie dinner" the lady at the table said. We went back and told the team about the dog show and the big dinner. "all right one problem there's five boys and three girls" Jessie said. "so who's cross dressing" Jaden said. "Not me I got a date with Cassie anyway" Dylan said. "Okay" Brian said. "Hey why don't we just get someone else for the last two guys" I said. "Brilliant" Jessie said. "I call Jessie" I said putting my arm around her. "damn" Brian said. "why don't you go with Lois" Dylan said. "Go with you where" Lois said walking in the room. "Long story short we have a black tie dinner and Id like to go with you" Brian said. "I'm honored but what about Jessie or Cassie" Lois said. "Jessie is going with me and Cassie with Dylan" I said. "all right I'll go but explain please" Lois said. Brian told her everything. "I'd love to help with your plan" Lois said. The next night we were getting ready for the big dinner. "come on Lois you coming" Brian yelled upstairs. The others came downstairs and we headed out. I saw typhoon and Erica arm in arm. What I saw next made me burst out in laughter. Heat had to go to the dinner with jasper. Jasper came over to Brian. "hey cousin how has it been going" jasper said. "Good" Brian said. "I found a new boyfriend. His name is heat" jasper said. "We've met" I said. Jasper walked away. "Maybe he doesn't know that heats evil" Jessie said. "Destiny Alex and Jaden have attacked heat right in front of jasper" Brian said. "Is that collar Italian" Cassie said. "yeah the family gave it to me" Brian said. Three hours later Lois had gotten drunk at the party. Brian wanted to make his move. "Your seriously going to do this" I said changing in to my pajamas. "Yes peter is at cleavlands and the kids are with their grandparents" Brian said taking off his collar. "Me and Jessie will meet you downstairs" I said picking up his collar and suit. He went in to peters room and climbed in to his bed. I went downstairs and started making out with Jessie. Jessie went back upstairs ten minutes later. Brian came back down smiling. "She kick you out of the room already" I said. "Yeah but I liked it" Brian said. We went to sleep. Brian was smiling all morning. At the dog show me and Brian had won the entire thing easily. Afterwards heat chased us down. Heat had grabbed the collar and it started glowing. "Heat I challenge you to a xiaolin showdown" Brian said. "the game is a race. First one through the forest wins. I wager the moisture blade against your eye of dashi" Brian said. "I accept your challenge" heat said. "Let's go xiaolin showdown" They said in unison. The trees in the forest grew to the sky and trees grew around us. We were armored up in dark blue ninja like armor with a different symbol on the chest of each armor. I have a flame Alex a wave Destiny a mountain range Jaden a cloud Cassie a lightning bolt Jessie a music note Dylan a sound wave Erica a rose and Brian a wolf. Ericas armor like heat and typhoon was blood red. Brian and heat lined up for the race. "Gong ye tan pi" they said in unison. They took off running and Brian took the lead. "eye of dashi" heat said blasting Brian's hand. "Moisture blade" Brian said throwing a wave at heat. Brian crossed the finish line and everything reverted to normal and we were dearmored. We went back and had some beer to celebrate. We had started some doing some armored training. Me and Brian were sparring. "Dream armor" We said. Our armor turned white and it looked like our symbols were in dream clouds. We started punching and kicking each other. Lois came out side. "Boys dearmor its time for dinner" Lois said. We immediately dearmored and went to dinner. "Brian could you take the kids trick or treating tonight" Lois said. "I cant the team has a heroes Halloween party tonight" Brian said. "well its not until nine and you only have to be out until eight" Lois said. "yeah you and Jake can take the kids" peter said. "Oh all right" Brian said angry. Later I walked by Alex's room. He had been putting grenades in an egg carton. "Hi" Alex said. "why" I said. "Me and Chris are egging some houses tonight" He said. "Alex we have a Halloween party tonight" I said. "so what" Alex said. "give me the grenades" I said. He dumped out his backpack and egg cartons filled the floor. "all of the grenades" I said. He fished a couple more cartons out of his pockets. "good now get your costume on" I said walking away. At eight sharp the kids Brian and I returned. "I cant believe they gave us bags of candy" I said. Alex came down dressed as a robot Jaden a millionaire Jessie Hannah Montana Dylan a rapper Cassie Cleopatra and Destiny a model. "how come our uniforms were stupid and we had to go out and buy them" Dru said. "You guys didn't need them you only have to wear them if you want to" I said. "ah crap" Dylan said. We went to a hidden location of the party. We went in and six hours later Brian and I had a big hangover. "Boy heroes tell you never to drink but when alone they drink gallons" Brian said. The next day Alex Jaden and Chris had gone out egging houses with grenades. I had to much of a hangover to speak. I got up and got dressed. I woke up Brian and we got the silver manta ray. "where are we going" Brian said getting in the ship. "Today is the day of the dead. I thought you might want to pay your respects" I said. "oh this is big for you isn't it" Brian said. "Very" I said. We flew over to Austin and landed in a park. I had used the scanner sunglasses and found her dna signature. I picked up my backpack and put a head marker down. "so this is all were doing here" Brian said. "no" I said grabbing a scroll out of my backpack. I unrolled it. I pulled out the tongue of saiping and put it around my neck. "what's that for" Brian said. "so I can understand her" I said. "who" Brian said. "your mom biscuit" I said searching through the scroll. "what. My mom" Brian said angrily. "yeah you said you cant believe she is gone so here is a way you can talk to her" I said searching the scroll. "so what's with the scroll" Brian said. "It's the scroll of summoning" I said. "I'm ready" Brian said kneeling down. "tongue of saiping scroll of summoning" I said. The spot where biscuit was buried started to glow and her spirit appeared in front of us. "Brian" biscuit said. "mom" he said. I went back in the manta ray so they could talk alone. Brian came back ten minutes later. We took off and headed out. We barely got home before seven. We walked in and Alex Jaden and Chris were in handcuffs. "We got out of being arrested but they never unlocked the cuffs" Jaden said. I destroyed the cuffs. We sat down and ate some dinner. "so how was the Halloween party last night" Lois asked. "It was okay but Jaden took advantage of the leaders and one guest getting beer" I said. "How's that" Peter asked. "Me and Brian had a very large hangover this morning. So Jaden Alex and Chris went out and egged houses this morning" I said. "So" Lois said. "They used grenades instead of eggs" Brian said. "I still cant believe you were nearly unconscious" Jaden said laughing. The phone rang and Lois picked it up. "Hold on" she said. She handed it to Brian. Brian went in the other room. "Who was it" I asked. "Jasper" Lois said. I still hadn't got over jasper at all. Brian walked back in. "what did jasper want" I asked. "well he got dumped and needed a place to stay until thanksgiving is over" Brian said. "so you gave him the address to a hotel" I said. "He is staying here" Brian said. Jasper arrived seconds later. "It scares me how he does that" I said. The next day Peter woke us up at four in the morning. I go dressed and the rest of the team was standing on the front lawn. "Peter what could we be doing at four AM" I said. "Fine I guess you don't want to go to the beach" Peter said. "It's the middle of November" Brian said. "Not in Florida" Peter said. "Yeah peter it is" I said mad. I went back in and saw jasper kissing a pillow on the couch. The others came in right after wards. Brian grabbed his keys. "I'm going to the bar" Brian said. "Ill come too" I said. We got some breakfast and headed out. We walked in. I looked at a clock. It read eight. Fourteen hours later we were drunk as hell. We got up and camped out in the car. I woke up at seven still tired. It felt like there was something around my neck. I grabbed it and realized it was a dog collar. I looked at my hand. It was Brian's. I looked in the side view mirror. I saw Brian's reflection instead of my own. I looked in the front seat. My body was right there. I realized that we had switched bodies. "this isn't good" I said in Brian's voice. I got out of the car. I tried to stand up but fell over. I got up on all fours. I tried to see if I could use his powers. "Wudai energy" I said. A beam projected from my paw. I walked back to the car and got in. I decided not to wake Brian. I started driving back to the house. Brian had started driving me crazy. He was sleep singing bet on it. "Bet on it bet on it" he sang. At a stoplight I licked his ear to wake him up. It didn't work. I wondered why I had licked him. I just blamed it on Brian's instincts. "Maybe its your time to lift off and fly you wont know if you never try" Brian sang. I started to wonder if it was Brian or jasper in my body. I parked in the garage and got out. I dragged Brian out of the car and threw him on to the couch. I walked in to the kitchen and saw Lois drinking coffee with some orange cat. "Brian you remember mayhem" Lois said. It took me a second to remember I was Brian. "Yeah could you hold on a sec" I said. I walked back in the living room and tried desperately to wake him up. Stewie walked in and saw me pistol-whipping Brian. "Finally your done with this kid. Here let me kill him for you" Stewie said. "No thanks Stewie just trying to wake him up" I said. "With a gun" He said. Stewie walked away. When no one was looking I peed in his face. He woke up immediately. "What the hell" Brian said wiping urine off his face. He noticed I was in his body. He was about to faint when I punched him in the face. I told him about everything. We came in and started talking. Mayhem left that night. The next day Lois reserved an indoor pool for us. We started getting ready. "You coming" Meg said. "Yeah be right there" I said. We got in Brian's car. "Brian by the way the vet called. You have worms" I said. "damn it. Anything else" Brian said. "just fleas" I said. "great" Brian said. "why are you carrying a gun" I asked. "I want to. Also why do have more energy than usual" Brian asked. "have you been taking the pills on the counter" I asked. "no" Brian replied. "well I have ADHD so you have to take a pill a day now. If not well you get a lot of energy" I said. "you could have told me before" Brian said. "Sorry" I said. We got to the pool and I had finally realized how Brian and I were in each others bodies. After the binge I was unconscious and my mind somehow pushed out Brian's. I got Brian to drink a lot of beer and we switched back. I was happy to be in my own body. The next day Brian forgot all about training. I came in and saw the dogs just watching TV. "Brian we have sword training" I said. "all right where's my blade" Brian said getting up. "Jasper please pull up your pants" I said. "sorry" he said. I walked out of the room immediately. I puked in to the sink. "Jake how long are you going to hate jasper" Brian asked. "till the end of time" I said picking up my sword. After a while peter and Lois were at work the kids at school and Stewie had the remote. "this is a bunch of crap" I said. "I don't care" Stewie said. I snatched the remote and turned it on the one thing he couldn't stand. "Ah teletubbies" Stewie said. I put the remote on the back of the couch and watched him squirm.


End file.
